Guest Author: Verlese D. Pender, PhD Candidate, Human Services (Mental Health Specialization)

“She wanted her cellphone back.”

That was the goal a young woman identified while attending an alternative school.

The adults supporting her had a different goal: helping her successfully transition back to her home school.

Both goals mattered. The challenge was helping everyone recognize that they did not have to compete.

Her caregiver and school counselors had legitimate concerns and a clear vision of what needed to happen for her to move forward. She understood that vision, too. But when asked what she wanted, her answer was simple:

She wanted her cellphone back.

At first glance, it might have been easy to dismiss her goal as insignificant compared with the priorities identified by the adults around her. But it mattered to her. And if we say we value youth voice, we must be willing to take seriously the things that matter to young people, even when their priorities are different from our own.

Connecting the Goals

The real question became: How could we connect what she wanted with what the adults believed she needed?

The answer was in the action steps.

The behaviors, accountability, participation, and progress the adults wanted to see were also the steps that could move her closer to getting her cellphone back. Once we recognized that connection, the goals no longer had to compete.

We did not need to convince her that the adults’ goal was more important. Instead, we needed to help her understand how the steps she was being asked to take connected to an outcome that mattered to her.

That experience shifted my understanding of what it truly means to center youth voice.

The Conditions We Quietly Place on Youth Voice

Sometimes, without realizing it, we place conditions on youth voice.

We want young people to identify goals, but we may expect them to choose the goals we consider appropriate.

We want them to participate in planning, but we may struggle when their priorities differ from ours.

We want them to take ownership of their future, but we may still expect them to define success according to an adult’s definition.

That raises an important question:

What does youth voice really mean if we only listen when we agree?

Authentic youth voice requires more than asking young people what they think. It means allowing their perspectives, priorities, and lived experiences to meaningfully influence the planning process.

Starting Where the Young Person Is

Centering youth voice does not mean every decision will be made exactly as a young person requests. It does not mean adults stop providing guidance, setting boundaries, addressing safety concerns, or holding young people accountable.

It means we do not automatically dismiss a young person’s goal simply because it is not the goal we would have chosen.

Instead, we become curious.

Why does this matter to you?

What would achieving this mean for you?

What are you willing to do to get there?

And perhaps most importantly: How can we connect what matters to you with the steps necessary to help you move forward?

Sometimes, the goal a young person names is the doorway to something bigger.

A Small Goal That Created Big Movement

For this young woman, getting her cellphone back became a source of motivation. It gave her a reason to engage in the process and work toward the expectations that had been established.

The cellphone did not need to become the most important goal to everyone.

It simply needed to be important enough to her.

That distinction matters.

When we understand what motivates a young person, we have an opportunity to build a bridge between their priorities and the broader goals of the team. Instead of asking them to abandon what matters to them, we can help them see how their choices and actions may move them closer to both their personal goals and the outcomes others are working to support.

The Expertise Only Young People Bring

Professionals bring knowledge, experience, resources, and perspective. Caregivers bring their own expertise and a unique understanding of the young person.

But young people bring something no one else can: the lived experience of being themselves.

That expertise deserves more than a seat at the table. It deserves the opportunity to influence the direction of the conversation.

When young people recognize that their perspectives are being taken seriously, participation can become more meaningful. Planning becomes something done with them rather than simply for them.

That is where voice begins to become ownership.

Maybe Youth-Centered Practice Is Simpler Than We Think

Maybe youth-centered practice is not about finding the perfect goal.

Maybe it is about finding a goal meaningful enough to create movement and then helping the young person connect that goal to growth, responsibility, and the outcomes the people supporting them are working toward.

The goal does not have to make sense to every adult before it can matter to the young person.

It simply has to matter enough to motivate the next step.

And sometimes, our role is to listen closely enough to recognize the goal behind the goal and then help young people see where that next step can lead.

About the Author:
Verlese D. Pender is a youth behavioral health professional, creative wellness practitioner, and doctoral candidate in Human Services with more than 17 years of experience supporting children, youth, and families. She is passionate about helping youth and adults use creativity as a tool for communication, self-expression, connection, and wellness. Her work centers on youth voice, strengths-based practices, and creating spaces where young people are active participants in shaping their own paths forward.